March 7th, 2014. USA Today reported that a Lieutenant of the Dallas Police Department was accused of working while impaired, sleeping on the job, and more failed field sobriety tests. Co-workers performed a field sobriety test on him, which was caught on camera, which he failed. The Lieutenant claimed that he was sleeping during his lunch break and not impaired but simply taking pain medication for a severe back injury. Curiously, no one asked him if he drove to work or allegedly admitted to investigating if he drove under the influence or DUI. DUI Field tests are standardized by the National Highway Transportation Safety Administration. They include the Horizontal Gaze Nystagmus Test which can indicate a 77% statistical probability of a given blood alcohol level or the presence of central nervous system depressants such as Xanax; the nine-step walk and turn which indicates a 68% statistical probability of a given blood alcohol level; and 30 seconds one leg stand which indicates a 66% statistical probability of a given blood alcohol level.
Of course, alcohol levels are irrelevant in determining if someone is less safe because of alcohol because alcohol affects different people differently. People on drugs tend to do less well on these tests than those that are taking drugs. Field Sobriety tests are often failed by the elderly, injured and out of shape even when not drinking or taking drugs either legal or prescription. In short, standardized DUI field sobriety tests are just stupid people’s tricks. Just like playing the lottery is a stupid people tax Las Vegas is a monument to bad math and the failure of the American educational system.
-Author: George Creal